So, so
what in the world are we going to talk about today?
Where in the world is Waldo? No, where's the cat? Carmen Sandiego? Did you ever watch that?
I played that game on the PC religiously. So
did I. That's crazy. You did? I did. Seriously.
Now you didn't.
100%
Promise. name was?
Promise, Promise? Okay, I believe you. I like that we have our promise. Promise.
needs to be clear that helps. Promise promise is you can make jokes. But if the person says Promise, promise, that means you have to tell the truth. I learned that from my brother in law. Cox. I promise promise like shit. You can't promise promise. It's like, you can't break a pinky promise from Trolls? Pinky promise? Wow,
I didn't see that far. I didn't see that. Is it the neutrals?
No, it's in the first one ranky promise.
You remember all the things
that are not necessary sometimes. I want to talk about mental illness or mental health today. I
don't know that. I like to call it illness. Yeah. ailment
Help, help, like
the mental health down. I'm down with that.
I want to also say, instead of hard work, it's hard work. I like that and had strong heart strong. I think people it doesn't need to be hard work anymore. I think it I mean, is it hard at times, but it doesn't need to be I make it a lot harder for myself. Definitely. But I think if we tap More into the heart of the work of it, that it will be a loss gentler, and smoother and kinder. And but I mean, you've been in this space a lot longer than I am. I have been what have you seen since coming into this space, the spiritual, the woowoo, the energetics, the body of mental health and the change of things because there's a lot of change. There's a lot of things that happen to you. And so there's different steps and there's different I mean, depression, you feel isolated, you feel all these different things. So what have you seen and what have you, like found that work in this space? Because it's difficult?
Well, I'll, I'll start. First with my personal experience in this and I shared a little bit of me getting misdiagnosed at 19. I think on our last episode didn't we didn't share that. What was really fascinating. And in my recent TED talk, I actually was going to talk about being diagnosed misdiagnosed as bipolar. But he didn't want to anchor that story. And so it was interesting to actually start out going and creating it. And then it just didn't want to there's this piece around these labels that we feel sometimes help us to give us an excuse for the way that we're feeling right? A lot of times when somebody's sick, or they have something that's going on, we just want somebody to label it. So we have something to have that title. Well, this is why x y&z
and then also because you have that title, here's the medication port.
Yes. And then here's my so for me, at 19, I had gotten engaged to a boy that I you know, we dated when I was 17. He was my first
loves boy. I mean that that
I mean now that I am now I look back I like we were kids. And anyway, and I had broke off the engagement went into a depression was trying to find who I was. And at 19 That's what we do, like, you know, 19 to 2119 to 25. Really, I mean, our prefrontal cortex is still developing until we're 25 years old. And you know, for anybody who doesn't know, that's where our relationship center is that I
don't even know who we are really we haven't developed at all until we're 25. So
well and in Mormon land, you're to get married if you're 25 and unmarried.
Oh, you're so old. Right? Right. And yet kids yeah, you
have no idea what a relationship is. You don't know really who you are yet. You get young, you're young, you're married. You get kids? Yeah,
that was the hard thing for me is that they push marriage so hard so fast. And you're so young and you don't know anything and for me or young men in the Mormon church, you come back off of a two year mission from a foreign country or in the United States. And you have no money you're broke and you have to go to college, but they push upon you your next step. Next step is to get married. Yeah, and the next step right there is instantly have a kid and it almost like binds you from and then like you're locked into this Some of their system, and I didn't get to explore anything, and I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to be in a relationship. I didn't know how to cohabitate with another woman, like, let alone I was a child myself. Granted, I mean, I learned a few skills, babies
raising babies as we were babies raising baby.
And so it's like, how no one teaches you that. And so look at all the mental health problems that come from that aspect, right? I didn't mean to cut you off. But
no, I love that you added that in and this is kind of I had a conversation with a friend the other day, that's like, you know, I don't really she's like, I don't really feel like I had a choice with if I wanted to be a mother. And that is just that is what you did. Yeah. And it's like, you know what, I would agree with that. On some level. Of course, we did choose it. But then when we're at the stage of life, we're like, what the hell? Later, like, there wasn't like a whole lot of consciousness. It's just what you did. Your Mormon, you find the person. You're married forever. You have kids like that is your whole like, that's what we're here to do. He's there forever.
You go to church.
I'm still to this man. For all time attorney. No, thank you.
Yeah, no, I mean, it's,
this is a podcast. This is an episode for another time, but it does lead into. So I'll go to what I was saying, you know, at 19 break off this, like that was so much of my identity at such a young age. And I was in college in Virginia at the time, split into a major depression. My dad and I'm picking me up, we go home, he gets me into a therapist. And I just started like, trying to figure out who the hell I was, and are my parents. I mean, I've pretty opinionated. I've always been opinionated, a very different than most of my siblings and my family dynamic. And I had a hard time going to church on all of his all of a sudden, right? I had a hard time doing I had had sex with this, this boy beforehand. And you know, that was a sin. And he wasn't supposed to go on a mission and oh, my gosh, oh, the ripple effects. So now I'm not going to church. I eventually start dating another guy. We start living together. We're having sex. So now I'm living in sin. Now. I'm like not getting along with my family. Like all of these dynamics. I end up moving out to Bellevue, Washington, I run out of money and my parents are like, look, we'll go ahead and pay your rent. On one condition. You get into a therapist, you get into a psychiatrist said, okay, so make an appointment psychiatrist. My parents fly in, they come with me to the appointment, we sit down on the couch, and the psychiatrists within the first five minutes said, I could diagnose you over the phone, you're bipolar. Because of the way that I was talking on the message. I was talking fast. And so he was like, You're you're bipolar to my parents. It was like this huge sigh of relief. To me. It was a life sentence. Like all of a sudden it was just like, holy shit. Yeah. So then I got put on antidepressants. I got put on, I think it was Depakote and lithium at the time. Like they're heavy medications. And I was cycling, but I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't struggling to the degree of what this label then just And ironically, I get put on these medications. I actually drop into a massive depression and for the first time, and I remember sitting in my apartment, I contemplated taking my life. Oh, wow. And I hadn't up until that point. So it was ironic that now I'm on antidepressants. Now I have this label
point, then you're like nothing to live for. I'm going to I mean, that's where the point is, because you're managing it through that most part, but then now that it was actually labeled upon you, you're like, shit, what am I going to do now? And
I don't know if the medication just magnified it. I also started putting on weight I ended up putting on 20 pounds in the first month that I got slapped these all these antidepressants. It's like, how are you going to be happy when you just put on 20 pounds like, no way and again at 19 years old. So I ended up having a really cool experience though when I'm sitting on the couch super depressed, seriously contemplating taking my life. And my brother who passed away when he was three years old, came into the space. And he had come in in an energetic session. I had started dabbling in energetics about this time. And he came in and I felt him and I could see him with my spiritual eyes. And he said call mom. So I got up off the couch. I called my mom I start crying to her. She came out, we picked me up and we drove back me up and drove home. And then the irony with that, and the whole bipolar label is i i ended up starting to make choices that weren't for me, but to pacify everyone else in my life because clearly something was wrong with me. So I'm on antidepressants, they finally start thinking I'm going to start to start dating again. I meet a man off LDS matchmaker.com This is my first husband. And I guess I'm sharing some of this part. My mom ends up sitting down with him and saying Are you sure you want to marry Mandy? You know, she's bipolar. So again, it was like this other like I'm broken. Why would anybody want me so it was just a really interesting it's hard dynamic. So I just kept shutting off more and more of me go into this marriage, here's a man that then you know, he's eight years older than me. So he starts running the show. And we want to have a baby. So I took myself off medications, and it was never back on medications for the rest of my life, and had four babies and with being a woman and having four babies, you cycle and so I would cycle and having depression, and I would feel it when it was going to come on. And I would actually communicate it to my husband at the time and say, I'm about to draw. And he would be little me and mock me and tell me it was all in my head. And it was really, really hard. But the beauty in that even though I fucking hated it. The beauty in that is there was a part where he was pushing me that I'm like, okay, maybe there's some truth in this, I would ask him for a blessing because at the time I was Mormon, I would ask him for that. And then I would allow myself to sink for three days. And then I would drag my ass out of that that dark tunnel that was painful. It feels like climbing yourself, like clawing your way out of tar. It is so heavy. And yeah, I got really good at that. And then eventually those stopped. But what was fascinating, I didn't realize I'm telling all of this holy shit. What was fascinating is after that divorce, I added a few different relationships, I called in a partner, that was borderline personality had borderline personality disorder. And I didn't realize this until after we were in a few months, and it was what i've what I've come to learn about any kind of mental illness or mental health issues. They're fucking brilliant. Yeah, there is brilliance behind it. And I want to dive by, I want to circle back to this in a minute. But there's brilliance. And he was so brilliant. But it was extremely, extremely traumatic and extremely difficult of a relationship to navigate. And I became somewhat imprisoned in that cycle of abuse that was mental, emotional, and then became a little physical towards the end. And we had one experience to without telling all the whole story, we had one experience, he would do this whole display, something would trigger him, we were inside a Hobby Lobby, whatever. And he starts screaming at me in front of all these people, like this whole thing starts happening, he books that I'm grateful I have the car keys, and it was to this point where I'm like, I can't do this anymore. Like, I don't give a shit. And then I get the barrage of text messages. And I start driving home. And he calls me, which is unusual. Normally, like, I don't hear from him for a while, like this was just a cycle. And I ended up picking him up, he does this whole little thing, look how much quicker we're moving through this, blah, blah, blah. We drive home, and I knew what was gonna come next. He was highly sexual, I knew he's gonna want sex, and I was not in the space. And so I picked a migraine, and they went and lay down in our bedroom at the time. And we lived up at Suncrest. And I went in lay down on my bed. And I was just in this space of what in the hell, what am I doing. And I was shown by God Spirit source, whatever, the Dark Pit that I had been in previously with my depression cycles. And I was shown that if I chose to stay in this relationship, I would never come out. And because I had known those places so intimately, it was a Fuck no, like, there's no way I'm gonna stay in this. And so he's grateful that I had those experiences to then have that kind of landmark, if you will, to understand that, oh, this dynamic will actually keep me in a place in prison and a place that I, I don't want to be and I ended up learning one of the most beautiful lessons of my life where I had called a friend of mine I had, I had isolated myself from everybody, I'd pushed everybody out of my life. And there was one person I knew if I called her, she would still hold me an unconditional love Holly. And I called Holly and I said, Holly, I don't know what to do. I love him. And she said, Of course you do. Love is everything. It's everywhere. But the question was for me, do I love myself first? And I wasn't. Yeah. And so that was a conscious, like, I'm out. And there's so many other pieces in this, I'm gonna start talking and they're like,
No, you're good. My thing is that we got to, like, when we go through those experiences, we're learning lessons, and we're learning tools to be able to be better. So it doesn't happen again the next time, right, because we don't want to repeat old patterns. And I mean, I can imagine I mean, I've been in that pit of despair, that tar I mean, I've gotten three hip replacements and three dark play. Yeah, it's super dark. I mean, one of the times I had to sit in the bed for six weeks straight to get the Hill this screws Hill, and that was like, Oh my gosh, like I am going nuts like what did I do? Why did I get the surgery? But I learned like contemplation I learned the hard way. causing I learned, because I mean, at one point, I'm like, when's Enough? Enough, right? And so I feel like we need to be able to have tools to be able to get out of those mental health because I'm not discrediting anything in the mental health or any diseases or any, I mean, anything, but neither am I all but I think we can also don't need the medication because the chemicals and the medication almost locks you down a little bit more, in my opinion. And so over the last year, like I cut out all medications from my hips, I cut out everything and I wanted to just see if I could heal myself, my thyroid, my HCG, my testosterone, like everyday, Tylenol, like I was taking three 800 ibuprofen, and it was just tearing up my liner in my stomach. And it was the only thing I was taking for pain. But I feel like if we can go in and be able to, like, do the work and be able to be in our minds and like, actually, like, because our minds are powerful, and they mess with my mind messes with me a lot all of ours. Yeah. And it's just like Mind, Body Spirit. And so like, how do you master the mind and be able to say, hey, this disease, or this symptom is just chaos from a thought. And we all learned that last night from emotions on Gaia, right? There's a there's just chaos in the atom. There's chaos in the molecular, there's chaos in the cellular, and then there's chaos in the tissue, which creates it creates the symptom. And so it's energy, right? It's all energy. And so how do we alchemize that energy and move it out? And be able to say, Hey, I am not this thought I am not this emotion, and how do we move it forward? One,
this isn't an interesting, I mean, this podcast may be broken out in a few because there's so many pieces and layers to touch here. And this is one of those places that I feel like in our personal development, we can get overwhelmed, because there's so many facets that are happening. And we were just talking about this, you know, our subconscious mind is running the show it is 95% 90 to 95% of what's running the show, and it is that iceberg that's below the water. And so we think that it's our conscious mind, but it's really the unconscious mind, the subconscious. And yet the subconscious mind has access to anything and everything that is not only a part of you, but also the collective it's like the super computer, or like the Google that you can type in anything and get the answer if you allow it to respond instead of thinking we know the answer allowing the subconscious mind to come in. So with that, then we have all the layers of past life trauma, lineage trauma, we know through epigenetics there is science is starting to show that seven generations is passed down through epigenetics. So somebody that has an ancestor that was in the Holocaust, or anything that's highly stressful, the same cortisol levels are actually being passed forward. If you're interested in this, there's a book called it didn't start with you where he dives into this. That's fascinating, that I'd highly recommend. But there's so many layers in this. And this is kind of where we start to look at the body, the mind and the emotions as somewhat of a machine. Yeah. And I hate talking about how this is a machine. But if we start looking at a little bit more disassociated in the sense of being able to witness it from more of a bird's eye perspective of oh, this thought is coming in, you know, okay, well, I know that this thoughts coming in, because I've had trauma from XY and Z in my past. So am I actually seeing this now issue with a wounded filter? And am I seeing it correctly? Or am I naturally going into a fear response, which is trying to keep me safe? Because of something that happened in the past? Yeah. So this is multifaceted. And I did want to circle back. What's interesting in the energetic field is I can always feel if somebody's on antidepressants, I can see it and feel it in their energetic field. It's almost like a base, not baseboard, but a sub floor has been created in their subconscious. So as a shaman, I can go I travel in between the worlds I can go into somebody superconscious, I can go down into their subconscious. And when I start to go down into the subconscious, there's almost this layer, almost like this floor. And that I'm like, Oh, there I will ask every time are you taking any presents? And they will always say yes. And it takes a little bit harder to get below it. So what guarded Yeah, it suppresses the thoughts and the subconscious mind or suppresses whatever the original wounds were, that that original symptom, or original issue that created the symptom in the first place.
So basically, it's abandoned. Yes, it's not helping. It's not doing anything. It's not helping. It's just basically relieving the pain with a band aid, but it's also not curing it, right? Yeah. And
there's some I mean, I think, gotta have my migraine meds, like there are some aspects to where medicine is extremely beneficial. But when we are so dependent on it, and we're not looking at, hey, what is the original thing here? You know, is there something deeper that I'm not seeing, am I allowing my start to feel my emotions am I allowing myself? Most people with self development or personal development when they have had trauma? Feels like a dark tunnel that they do they want to avoid at all costs?
Yeah, I mean, the cool. I mean, I think medicine is valuable in some aspects in some cases, and some points I get that. But I mean, one of Steve Jobs is one of my favorite quotes for me is like food is medicine. And take it as like, Greg, take it for what it is, or you're going to be taking medicine for food. Do you get that? Like, it's insane? Like, if we're not taking care of our bodies? And if we're not eating food the right way or necessary, then we're going to be taking medicine as food, and then that's going to be the fuel for our body. Yeah, I mean, I told you on the first episode, I was taking so much medications, something to get me out something get me down something get me out of pain, somebody to sleeping something to get me happy somebody to get me like sad or like just to be able to feel my emotions. And I think it is so crucial to know that we, like I've said, we can heal anything within our bodies, if we have belief belief will change our world and just put a man on the moon, it has moved mountains, like belief, but like, the thing is, we have self limiting beliefs, because society is pumping full of us fear, all this propaganda, you can't do this, you should take this, like, we are frequency beings, right? We are beings of light, right. And so they want us to be able to have low frequency stuff come in the music that we listened to, that helps with mental health, the food that we lowers your, I mean, puts people in depression. That's why there's something on every corner fast food, we're gonna
this is the talking about how we are an enslaved society, and we will have will have another podcast on that, but that we're gonna for sure dive more into this, but
I'm talking about like, when we're in a low frequency vibration, and we're putting more low frequency vibration or frequencies in within our body, we're gonna keep dropping lower and lower, and we're not going to be able to get up and I feel like maybe that's where people are just putting a label on it. Oh, that's depression, but we're just a low frequency, oh, that's this disease or this thing, because that's that, but like, it's a low frequency, we're putting low frequency vibes into our body or into our mind into our eyes. Because for watching, not good content for listening to NOT GOOD Music for listening to low beat songs. And it's going to put you in it's such a different atmosphere, right. And if I've done that, like I've been in these headbangers or this, like listening to bad stuff, or reading bad stuff, or like listening to the fear, and like, oh, my gosh, and then I've stepped out completely. I'm like, listen, whatever I put into my mind is going to be joy, happiness, bliss. And it's a choice, right? Like today, I choose to be happy. It's a choice. And I think those are the decisions that you need to keep making. Andy Andrews wrote a book, The Travelers gift. And there are seven decisions of where you can be able to choose today. Today, I choose to be happy, or the buck stops with me stop blaming others. And I think it's super important that you first take the blame that you talk to me, like, take accountability for yourself, instead of pointing for others, and then you're going to start healing yourself.
One this goes into when we talked in the last episode that everything is 99.99% space, so our bodies, and so we're mostly energetic beings moving through this world of matter and density. And the irony isn't and most people believe this, I believe this to be true as well, you know, there's many planets Earth is one of the more dense or planets, so we learn quicker. And so that's partly why we chose to be and more of a dense type environment is because through these emotions through these different thoughts through these different pain points that we have, we do move and learn quicker. But in that we know and we talked about about this last time that the all is mind. And I think that there's not I think I know that there's a lot of pieces with this that are a total mindfuck that we actually probably can never fully understand and comprehend in the human frame with our capacity to we always want to have things be linear and structured and put it in a box and the way that I think we work and the way that the world works, that we can't quite fully understand in the human capacity we know that there's zeros and ones in the foundational blueprints of the earth it's like okay, that's coding zeros and ones so who's doing that? So we know that the all is mine and to your point that we can heal ourselves. It's just a choice and I believe then I mean that proves that proves that that's that's the case we know like we talked about last time this table is a table because they believe it to be so and it is a little bit of it is hard to wrap your mind around and for those that are wanting a little bit of a deeper dive Lynne McTaggart wrote a book called the field that she beautifully talks about quantum mechanics and quantum quantum science and it's a great A book to dive into. But in that on this other thing that was fascinating that I learned when with this table, for example, it glitches in and out of space. I can't remember how many times a minute. And they have no idea where it goes. No idea. Yeah, but it, it glitches in and out, in and out in and out, in and out in and out and out. Yeah, like, where the hell does that go?
The multiverses. Who knows? I
mean, there's so many things that we don't understand. But when we want to simplify and dumb it down, that it does come back to the one Yeah, we know that in the one we are all connected. But the only thing that I can do right now in this moment is me. Yep. And to your point with the I like that we talk about and I've I used to do this with my kids all the time, we play a game called changing channels, where it's like, okay, I'm in the ocean, and I'm a mermaid and I'm gonna go down and I'm gonna go find a treasure chest and changing channels in
the jungle swatting down massive mosquitoes getting on my neck and then these Aboriginals come at me and I changed the Chatto. So
you do this actually, with your kids, because the neural pathways are still really placid there. The neuroplasticity is more pliable at a younger age. And so it's a really good tool to be able to help them with changing the channel. So as they get older, and you know, me as an adult, now, in my mind, it's like, okay, I need I'm changing the channel. Yeah, I woke up tired, I woke up grumpy, okay, it might take me a minute, but I'm changing the channel. It is it is I wasn't grumpy. I just I'm like, I don't need to correct that. But, um, I do want to circle back to one of the things you know, since we're talking about mental illness, I did use thinking mental health, I did use the label as being bipolar, even though I was off medications. I used it as a crux for not as a reason for me not to show up. So I noticed that, you know, part of being human is we have fear, we have things that scare the shit out of us. But I would use that label as a reason why I couldn't follow through. I couldn't go do the things that I committed to it was an excuse for me to play small. And it was really hard for me to not be seen because I was scared to be seen. I was scared to be different. I was scared to blah, blah, blah. So it was something that was really interesting that I didn't understand that I did until much later. But it was a fucking cop out.
I can tell you that I use the same thing. I mean, granted, my hip replacements, my hip disease was very viable. It's like there. Yeah, I'd use it as an excuse, though, to for a lot of times, oh, I can't do this. I can't show up. I can't I mean, I can't help move, or I can't help be able to do these things. But like, I'd always put I blame my hip in a sense, where my hip is the issue that I can't do this, but in all reality, it was what was driving me at the same time, too. So it's like, are we using our elements as an excuse, and also using it as a way to move forward at the same time, it's like a catch 22 I definitely was doing that as well. Well,
and there's a fine line, you know, with where do we give ourselves some grace and some compassion of okay, we do need to shut down or we do need to rest or we do need more water, we do need, whatever, whatever it is, versus pushing ourself and showing up even when we don't want to, and there is a fine line between the two. And that comes back to knowing yourself well enough to know when you are starting to self sabotage or you're resisting showing up because there's a fear point there. And for me, fear is usually that indicator that what I'm wanting is on the other side. So it's like Okay, fuck, we're leaning in. You know, to your point with some, some tools. plant medicine is actually a really beautiful tool with people that suffer with massive depression and other issues. It can be a really beautiful tool when it's in the correct container. Yes. Otherwise if you're opening yourself up, and you know you've had experiences to this, because your subconscious mind is so open, and I know ketamine is really popular right now. If you are interested in doing ketamine, what I would highly recommend is you find a clinic that actually has someone sitting with you to talk through things so you're not going to sleep because when they first started out, you just go to ketamine, you fall asleep, and people would feel better for a short period of time. And I actually know someone who ended up taking his life he had ketamine treatments, it was doing really well. He did come to a place of more peace and but he did end up taking his life. But in my experience, and with what I know, you have to have someone there to actually talk through what the original reviewers your subconscious minds wide open. Yeah, there's where you can go find where the roots are beautiful, but someone
has to be there to be guiding you because I did a ketamine treatment. And they thought I was a really big guy. So I walked down into this building and I see like everything is in Chinese cuz I'm like, Oh, what was this Sally Sandy? And I'm like, Okay, I mean, no bad, not bad, not bad. And then I look at like the doctors diploma or whatever residency, it was all in Chinese and like, oh my gosh, what am I doing? I was like, how many
years ago is this? This was during
this year, I've done everything this year, I've done everything you can imagine I've done this year, and good or bad. And so I go in there, and I go, he's a big guy. So they're like, we're gonna give him a higher dose and we're gonna give them a boost. So like it shocked Kaiho Oh, no, I went like to lala land and the Munchkin Gill and like, like, it was insane. And then I had to go to the bathroom and I couldn't go to the bathroom. Like they had to, like walk me to the I'm so heavy on I don't know, smoked. And I was like, so tired. I got into the car. And then I came home and slept for three, four more hours. Like it was not done. Well. It wasn't done right. They left the room. They didn't help me integrate. They didn't talk. They just said okay, thanks for your time. I'm like, what? This that didn't help. Like, I just felt like I was high on drugs for three or four hours. And then I'm like, groggy the next day. It's
not super fun. I didn't, I don't. I don't know. I know some people that love ketamine, and I'm not can be
used in an amazing way. I mean, don't get me wrong, but like, I love your point to the fact that like, you have to have someone guiding you, because there's some, like you can start speaking to it, you can be able to be healed from it and be able to use that like create new neural pathways, like you said, instead of going Laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, you finally get to go right or go straight and be able to create something new. Well,
and that's one of the things that I love about being an NLP practitioner is one of the things with this. And even even when I was just fully a shaman, or even with, like Reiki, like it was just kind of a band aid, it was the energetic and a guy who gave you the short boost, but then it was never really the long lasting thing shamanism you went into, and the medicine was like this whole year of like, just drudging up everything. And so it is, is painful, but then you then you learn NLP, and it's like, Oh, your healing does not have to be as traumatic as original wound. And that resonated so deeply with me. And I've seen it time and time again, it's just a thought. It's just a, it's an old program, go find the gifts and it will clear. And so that is one of the easiest, the beautiful things that I like about the analytical mind or just looking at it more in the mechanics of the machine. Of you just need to go find the gifts of why you chose into that experience. And this one is hard for a lot of people, especially if there's been abuse. But there is an element of the soul. Because I believe we have and you believe the same thing. We have multiple lifetimes. Absolutely.
Let me let me tell you why we have multiple lifetimes. So if the Earth is a trillion years old, and the average lifespan is 80 years old, right? You do the math, you divide that that's over 350 million lifetimes what we have had to come up and be able to get ourselves better. Can't go back to mass that there's
so crazy in that. Why would we choose multiple lifetimes? And when you ask this fundamental question, and I, the first time I was ever asked this, I was Mormon, and she just said, Let's believe for one minute that you do believe in multiple lifetimes. I'm like, Okay, let I'll try that on. Yeah. And then let's believe that in each lifetime, you choose down for growth, for learning for expansion. It removes right or wrong, if everything is just learning, all of a sudden, there's no right or wrong. It's just experience. And so I'm like, Okay, and so what if you travel and soul families, and in each lifetime, before you choose down, you say you want to experience X, Y and Z, you turn to different members in the soul family, and you ask them to play out different roles. Yeah,
contracts, right? Yes, yes, yes.
And this is all that's a whole other anyway. You do but you could it's possible that we do ask these people. So when we have somebody that is been horrific to us, what if on some level, we actually asked them to play that role, so that we could learn through the experience of what it feels like to have abuse to have, whatever abuse is always the hardest one, for anybody to latch their mind around. And I get I was sexually abused, too. I believe that on some level, I had a choice as a child to, to want that. And the reality is, there's multi facets in this and on some level there, it does resonate a little bit of well, AI has taught me a shit ton, especially when I'm working with clients. I can sit there and empathize with different dynamics with sexual abuse. Yeah.
No, I mean, it's, I mean, it's really hard to wrap your mind around that like you've chosen to go into a hard situation and but it's for our experience, right, and it's not good or bad like You said it's an experience either some are harder than others, and some are easier. And we've all come down to this earth to be able to have a diamond like mentality. And to be able to be diamond like you had to had go through the hard. I mean, the coal presses Harder, harder, harder. And then then you finally become a diamond. At what point Yeah, we like is enough enough. And you get that but we didn't come down here to be gems, we came here to be diamonds. And I feel like that's the beauty of that. And so when we have these mental health issues, when we have anxiety when we have stress, when we get diagnosed with disease, bipolar, when we get diagnosed with depression, we have we have different tools that we can be able to use than the chemical medication that Big Pharma is using. And I believe that breathwork breathwork calms the nervous system. When I get anxiety when I get stressed. I go into a deep I mean, you and I have been doing every morning lately is Wim Hof. And it's breathe it in, let it go breathe it in. And no, but it calms my central nervous system. Like just yesterday, my whole body shut down. And I'm like, What is going on? Am I pushing my body too much? Like, am I shaking? Am I getting stressed and breathwork has been really good. Well, yeah, my eating. And then like, that's another tool like people to understand what we put into our body food is incredible. It changes everything. Like you say, some days, I need more greens, I need to get a salad in me I need I need more fruits and vegetables. And that helps you go vitalize. But I think the biggest thing is, is let's not just go rely on society saying that you need this medication for this like quick fix. You're in prison and we're gonna get it in this next time. But when I see someone's closet and they have a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday pill jar, I'm like, What are you doing?
You're all vitamins.
That's great, but it's not. I know that. Because
you have done that. Do you did you have a I didn't have a Monday,
I didn't have a weekly thing. But I did have a regimen. I mean, I had so many like, every time I traveled, I probably had six or seven prescription bottles in my backpack. When I went on my work trips a lot. It was a lot. And then I also had like my workout stuff, my supplements. So I have like 10 bottles at times bringing me with me, I was like, I was a prisoner to the supplement or to the medication when I could have just learned like, like, what I've done now is the yoga. The Asana is the yoga. I love the yoga studio. Yeah. And like I have learned through the Asana is through the physicality of it like you can be able to be in control, and then the breath work, it creates space. So if you are so frantic and want to leave the mat, you just sit down and breathe through it. And that's when you leave that room when life experience comes that way and you're about ready to panic, you breathe, create space, and be able to get through it right away. And so because we are not our thoughts, and I think our thoughts take over. And everybody's telling us we have one thing we have one thing, someone told me that I was depressed and I should get on medication, like I've never I've really rarely get into a depression mode. But like, do I get sad, do I get things like
life creates dynamics to where you are sad, and it's but you
don't need to be labeled as depressed because you're sad. So you can work through that emotion because I've always been taught, I am is the most are the two most powerful words in the English language or any language if you put I am anything that comes after I am will come about I am strong, I am powerful. I am amazing. I am happy, I am beautiful. But if you go into the negative, I am sad, I am negative I am
unhappy, feeling sad, that I'm feeling unhappiness
is happening to me. But I am not that emotion. You got to move away from that. Because if we attach ourselves to that, we're just going to go even deeper, right?
And just you know, since we're talking about if you the subconscious mind or the mind doesn't recognize not or like the negative thing. So if you say I am not sad, it actually all only hears I am sad. So as
Tony Robbins says I am not your guru, and everyone's just associate I am your guru.
So those are some some little nuances there. And I want to offer some tools here. And before I do that, one of the things I do want to talk about is panic attacks and anxiety are rampant, especially with our kids. And adults. It is rampant right now. And it is one of the things that most people are, I would say depression and anxiety, panic attacks are like side and side. Like there. It's just the two things that are massive right now. And I once heard and this resonated deeply anxiety is fear of the future depression is fear of the past, or being in the past, okay, instead of being totally in the present, and yet something in the present moment can trigger a thought that triggers the emotion that goes into fear the fight or flight. So our vagus nerve that's hide to the heart is that fight or flight nerve. And when we were back in, you know, caveman era, we needed the fight or flight, we needed to be able to respond if there was a predator. Now, we don't have that dynamic. But the predator is now society, social media, it's our thoughts. It's our emotions, because nobody's really taught us how to regulate them. Nobody's really taught us that we are not our mind, we are not our thoughts. We are not the emotions. And our children. And a lot of adults are coming very, very empathic, very, very sensitive and in tune to other people's emotions, other people's thoughts, other people's energetic, daggers are energetic, whatever that they're sending out, and they don't know how to navigate it. My daughter is a great example of this. She's highly empathic. And when I first started doing sessions in my home, I'd come out of the session, she's like, I have a headache. Well, my client just had a headache. And so I started teaching her to ask herself, just ask Is that mine? Is this mine 19. There are simple tools that I want to offer here that will assist in starting to slow down because we are so what you're speaking to with breathwork or yoga, are slow down practices. So as meditation, it's a slow down practice. But we are so conditioned to be in the rat race, and there is a reason for it. And this will tie into this in our other podcasts when we talk about becoming, removing ourselves out of the slave mentality and out of the slave race that we have chosen into. And that's I don't want to die. Blah, blah, well, we're going to earmark that for another episode. But with the slowdown, the reason why during COVID, so many people started leaving religion is because there was a slowdown. There was a pullback of people going okay, what do I really believe I had now more time to sit in the question to sit in the huh, yeah, I don't know if this is working for me anymore. But in relationships, in religion, in jobs, in life in society, in our kids raising kids, a lot of times, we're just okay, what's the next thing what's I gotta get here, I gotta go do that. I gotta go perform, I gotta. And so we do the medications to assist us in the rapidness of life. I mean, growing up as a kid, I was outside and barefoot, playing in the mountains and building forts all the time. And I wasn't worried about I needed to start playing club volleyball. Otherwise, I could never play in high school. And then therefore, I could never play in college. But now our kids, they better start at like latest seven years old.
One, sport two. Yeah. And we always want instant gratification. We want it now. I mean, think about it back in the day business was done on telegrams, and you or message and mail, snail mail, and it would take a week to get to there and then a week response, you're getting emails, same day, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, hitting you in the face, you want a response right then in there, instead of leaving the office, you'd get phone calls all day, then pagers came, and then cell phones came, then you're always on your phone, then you're always tap, like, we're wired to like, that's why our society here in the West is so conditioned to like so many mental issues, if you watch the Netflix series, Blue Zone, it's a slower pace. It's like these areas in Greek or Mediterranean enjoying life. They're, they're slowed down, and they're eating great food and,
and they're enjoying the food. That's the other thing instead of just pounding it down and being like unconscious, like, I just need food. So I'm gonna go grab a burger, I'm gonna go grab whatever. It's like, what is my body needing, oh, I can sit here and enjoy this pasta, or whatever it is. And because I'm in a state of enjoyment as it's going in, guess what it assimilates to myself and my body and a place of joy and happiness, versus I shouldn't be eating this or I'm not even thinking about what I'm putting in my body. It will assimilate different, and I totally interrupted you. But I wanted to finish this thought. There is a scale that talks about emotion. Yes. And the vibrational frequency of emotions, shame and guilt are the lowest frequency and it's right next to death. Yep. And so when we have shame or guilt when we're eating, when we're having emotions, we will then attract that in our external world to what you're talking about then with medications, music 100%.
Now, anything you do, you can always cut me off. But no, I think it's it's important to always have that slow down. I mean, Lisa, she gave me the book, The Art of contemplation, and it helps you do slow down and it helps you give you the tools to be able to understand that there is a pause and things and we learn that a pause or a break and music is where the magic is right. And I think if we can finally slow down and be able to understand the present is a gift. That's why they say the past is history. The future is a mystery. The present is a gift. That's what I mean today is a gift. That's why we call it the present Master Oogway from Kung Fu Panda quotes that but it truly is if we are in the present moment, and the future hasn't happened in the past can't affect you. Then you're okay. When we talked when we watch guy last night, they said that a gazelle being chased by a lion will get stressed. And then 15 minutes later, it will act like is never even happened. And it goes back to grazing with what you said, we have a thought. And we get stressed. There's no lion chasing us. There's no train coming at us. There's nothing. Well, the difference
between the gazelle and a human though is the human has more of a complex mind. That's the problem.
Exactly. And so then we stay How long do we stay in that stress mode, though? We can stay in for hours, we just stay in the
stress mode, and then we create ripple effects off of that, then maybe we ultimately didn't want 100%.
So what tools do you need to do is like, okay, slow down, is this real? Has this even happened yet? Is tomorrow, like, tomorrow hasn't even came yet. Or the next hour, you can be able to fix it. Like, that's the thing is like, we get so lost into the future, that it hasn't even happened. And so what you're doing this current moment is affecting the future because you're, that's what creates the future. Let
me ask you this. Johnny, could you a year ago have predicted where you'd be exactly today?
Absolutely not.
What percentage of your life is what you thought it would be?
It's 00 I honestly, like I've shifted 100% and had no idea where I was going. But am I so happy and so grateful for where I'm at today? 1,000%.
I asked this question to anybody that sits in front of me, especially that's asked like fear of the future trying to plan. I don't, I don't care who it is. There's not one person, anyone that's highly successful in life or anyone that's struggling, there is not one person that has ever said that they could have predicted or they hit their goal. 100% Sometimes it's overhead, sometimes it's under hit. But for the most part, where we're at in life right now is normal. We're most like 80% not what we thought it would be a year ago, five years ago. 10 Certainly not 2030 years ago, when we were kids looking at our future. There's no way in hell I would have predicted no 1% of my life right now other than I'm a mother. Yeah, could I have predicted when I was a kid? Yeah. And so that is to your point. It is ironic and and quite funny. And I love Michael singers kind of he could get comical about this, where it's like, we've had evolution in a planet of things that have been in movement and in motion for millions and billions of years. And yet you as this one individual, this one atom or molecular structure on a, you know, massive scale, think that you're going to come in now and control what's now going to happen in the future trajectory is comical. And yet there is truth in all right? Well, right now, I am going to take action steps to getting me closer where I want to go. And so it's just this math is this fascinating place of creation and surrender. And I like to use the analogy of a stream. When we're wanting to create things in our life, I don't care if it's just personal health, if it's self development, if it's career, if it's whatever it is, we do want to set the trajectory, we want to set the GPS coordinates, or we want to have a place for where that stream of that flow of energy can go. And then we create structure in our day and are how we're showing up and how we're creating the steps that are the banks of the river. So then the flow of my creative force can be held in that structure, and go towards where I want to go know, the coordinates can change and alter based off of I only know what I know. And I can only see the forest for the trees, and I am calling in a higher aspect to assist me in getting this or something better. So I'm setting this course that this is a beautiful destination, I want this or something better. And I know that I don't know what I don't know. And I'm going to show up every day to get me closer to where I want to where I want to go. And so in this again, I want to circle back to one of the things for people who suffer with panic attacks or with reaction or reactive tendencies. What I would encourage you to do is the minute you start filling the flat now this is where you're going to be asked to start being more conscious of your be catching that moment before the flood of emotions and the chemical starts dropping. And I got a very, very intimate look at this after that relationship that I shared. It was so highly traumatic, that after it ended, it was probably a week after it had ended. He was gone maybe two weeks, and I was laying in bed and I felt this surge of a moat like chemical dumping, where I wanted to pick up the phone and reach back out to him because I was craving the drama and the trauma and it was mind blowing to me. And I was so grateful that I was reading at the time Joe Dispenza has the habit of or the power, the breaking, breaking the habit of becoming yourself or something, that book everybody knows that like. And so I was familiar, I was learning about the neural pathways and learning how when we create that highway and the neural pathway have a pattern and a habit that it takes a minute it takes 27 to 31 days to break it. It's it's broken quicker if it's done in play, however, yes. So I was grateful that I didn't react to the chemical dump of the humaneness, the, the rope, the mechanics, I didn't react and I chose to have a SAT and instead, I sat in the emotion, I let it move through, I sat in the discomfort, instead of reacting and wanting the quick fix and to pacify the feeling I sat in it. And so this is the first thing that I would say your first line of defense is to start becoming conscious of the thought, the emotion and sit in it. And when a trigger happens, you close your mouth, you don't respond and you breathe, and you let the chemical the flood of emotions, and even the barrage of thoughts. You just allow yourself to sit in it and witness it and let it move through. And that is a harder practice than it sounds.
Yeah. No, those are amazing tools like you. I mean, I need that for sure. I mean, it's helped me. For the longest time I do, speak when I'm triggered, and it's not good. And so I really appreciate I bet a lot of the listeners will appreciate that too. Because they don't know at times what they don't know, like you said, so
well, sometimes it is us wanting to be seen and whatever that is because there's a part of us that's triggered. That's like I need this to be validated. And the truth is, is why if this is not a thought, or a pattern or emotion or a belief that we actually want to fuel, why do we need to bring more energy to it? Yep.
No more triggers. I think that's the best part.
Well, the truth is, is we all do get triggered, I don't give a shit who you are. Absolutely, we still have our triggers. So your kicker is the trigger, or the minute before the panic attack comes in. Yeah, take a moment and breathe and just notice it and let it come through. Now for those that have panic attacks that are very, very real, and very scary. One of the things that you can do, and I'm going to do this on camera, you could actually you take the top of your ear lobes and you come down your ears, and you come down to the bottom of the ear lobes. So you start at the top, and you just breathe, you try to calm your breathing, and you do it three times stopping at the base of the ear lobes. If you have somebody with you, it's ideal. Or if you know someone that struggles with panic attacks, it's ideal to have someone else do it to you. You want to always ask the person can I touch you before you touch them. And then you just look at them. And you actually have them make eye contact with you for a minute because it brings them more presence. You invite them to breathe, and you slow your breath with them. And then you go down their ears, what you can then do is invite them to turn around, and you can brush down their spine to left on the right of the spine down and out the lower back three times and then down the shoulders and brush it off and kind of shake it, shake it out. One of the other things that you can do to and I'm gonna do this in camera, because this resets the vagus nerve, I cannot offer tools, I can't just sit here and do this without tools giving us you're going to sit still. And you're going to have your face forward. I'm not sure I'm not taught you this one. I'm all ears. One of the things that you can you can see in the mirror to know if your vagus nerve is off is when you look in the mirror and you say Ah, you can see your amygdala, you know that's at the bottom. If it's not straight down and it goes to the left to the right, your vagus nerve is off. And your vagus nerve is your fight or flight. It's the biggest and it's connected to the heart. So this is one of the things that you can do, you look forward and then you actually turn take your head and look to left without moving your shoulders and you look as far left as you can. And you hold it there and you breathe for about 510 seconds, maybe longer if you feel like you need a deeper reset. And then you come back to the middle. And then you do the same thing. You look over the right side. And you make sure most people will catch their breath. But again, you're going to want to take your eyes and look as far right as you can over your shoulder. Take a few breaths and then bring your head back to center. Did you notice a little bit of a calmness come in. Again, so those those are some mechanical things to do with the body really good actually. Some of the things that if you're struggling with even reconnecting the right and left hemisphere of the brain right and left, you know creative and analytical crawling on the ground ound like the literal like crawling helps to connect the right and the left hemispheres doing the whole, you know, you're twisting the arms. You know, in yoga, we do that, twisting the right or the left the left over the right. The other thing you can do is actually take your tongue and push it to the roof of your mouth, the top of your mouth, and press as hard as you can, and just do that for a little while. The other thing is their box breathing. Most people know, if somebody's hyperventilate of state, you actually haven't kept their hands around in front of their face. Almost, it's like your brown paper bag, but you do it with your hands and you start breathing that way, and you do just whatever is comfortable for the person. The last thing that I will say is, this one's harder to do if you're in public, and you're freaking out, but you cup, you know this, you put your thumb over the right nostril, you breathe in and out through the left, and then you cup, your press, usually use your ring finger on the other side of nostril breathe in and out to the right, and you just alternate, go back and forth, back and forth,
definitely really helps. And then you can do either side first, and so it helps open the left side opens up the right side. One
of the reasons why meditation has become so popular is because it does allow the slow down but most people who are fast paced will usually reject my meditation because they their minds won't shut up. And and it's like, well, those are your that actually, you really need it. If you if your mind can't be quiet, then you're the one that really does need it in his practice.
I mean, that took me so long. I mean, I was diagnosed with ADHD taking off sugar. So all my life I was Go Go, go, go go. I mean, Energizer Bunny, right. And then first meditation was so hard for me. And then now it's it's a beautiful thing and a beautiful practice that I do morning and night and even during the day as well to be able to hit that slowdown that that reboot, and then I get a pause. And so I think that's the best of it. I mean, you actually get freedom within the meditation. Oh,
yeah, you create space. Yeah. And two more tools I'd love to offer is one, when you have a thought that comes through, start noticing your thoughts. Most of us are very abusive, and our thinking. And that was something that I got to look out as far as why it was attracting abusive partners. It's like what the hell and it was I was abusive in my thinking. And so I was attracting that in my, my mirror, and my external relationships. So even just starting to notice, notice thoughts. And then as thoughts are coming in, ask it is this true? No. And nine times out of 10 the thought will it will be no and so it just dissipates. Yep. And the last while I think this is the last one I'm going to offer is when you're overthinking or you're in your brain and you're wanting the mind to slow down and or when you're going into meditation, you can take a few deep breaths and then ask you can say aloud or in your mind. I wonder what my next thought will be. And I'm gonna invite everybody to try it right now say it was just saying your mind or out loud. I wonder what my next thought will be. You should notice no thought comes.
It's almost like a freeway. Like it creates a barrier, right? Any thoughts coming up and then you can just shoot up?
And what I've noticed what's fascinating about that is that's exactly how I see it. I say like this, this freeways, a good example. And I will see the thoughts wanting to come in, but they don't. It's almost like and then they bump up against this thing. It's like no, you're not you're not welcome. Wow, that is so fascinating.
Amazing tools. There's a few they helped me a lot. No, they've helped me. I mean, you've given me so many over the last three months. And I mean, I utilize them to the max because I I love being a student and I love learning. And if I can be able to be a little bit better 1% Better every other day and every day, not every other day.
Only every only days.
Yeah, exactly. But no I'm excited to keep using these and utilizing these tools and I bet a lot of these people listening right now are gonna be excited to using them as well.
Well, there's the simplicity and I learned from you everyday to thank you. But is is this simplicity. Oftentimes we get so overwhelmed with where to start. So these are simple tools to start with. And the simplest thing of all of it is to slow down. Slow the fuck down.
I think that's it for today. Bam. We did cover it all. Like there's so much on this. Maybe we I don't know.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai